"The true gentleman is friendly, but not familiar." - CONFUCIUS

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

California Part 2: What's The Problem.


IT SEEMED LIKE THE NO-BRAINER OF ALL NO-BRAINERS. The kind of question most sane people would laugh a little under their breath before answering. Should gays be allowed to marry? Hmm. Well, I’ve heard tell of this mythical document called the Declaration of Independence, which legend has it is rather important round these parts. And I found this one line in it which goes “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” which I think wraps that issue up. Any other dumb questions?

Well, the only thing that made most sane people feel dumber – or angrier – than Proposition 8’s passing a couple of months ago was the California Supreme Court’s decision yesterday to uphold it. The issue has officially moved from the ‘no-brainer’ pile to the ‘head-scratcher’ pile, where it struggles for space within a vast landfill of similar head-scratchers collectively known as the California Constitution, a document best described by the fact that after over 500 amendments and revisions, many of which completely contradict both state and federal law, it is now several times longer than America’s. The world grabs a bag of popcorn and watches, perplexed, as the home of Baywatch, Hollywood, the fourth largest economy in the world and home of much of its most sought-after real estate continues to get broker by the nanosecond. And at the helm of it all sits Arnold Schwarzenegger: the Terminator, Mr. Universe, the Austrian Oak, begging elementary schoolkids to take an extra week off so that he won’t have to let child rapists out of jails. The world turns the TV off, shocked, disgusted, disillusioned, and shouts Why? Why, California? Well, after a little digging I think I have some leads.

WE DON’T VOTE. Apparently, all the political Facebook petitions and Obama fan groups in the world aren’t enough to get California’s young, diverse youth to stop Twittering long enough to head to the state elections and offset the old, white men who continue to constitute the lion’s share of votes.
RICH PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. Worse, these aging Caucasian chestnuts tend to either be faux-radical Guevara nuts (privet Berkeley!) or ultra-conservative Dubya fans (howdy Orange County!), which guarantees a ridiculous outcome on most every proposition. And these are the same people who create most of the propositions in the first place.
SACRAMENTO IS POINTLESS. When a completely retarded and arguably illegal proposition does pass (see Proposition 8), the state legislature has no power to override it, and it never expires. Oh, and in California, any budget changes require a two-thirds majority vote to pass, and so do tax changes. So basically, Democrats and Republicans hate on each other’s budget and tax proposals to the point that nothing gets passed and we end up in the clusterfuck of a situation we’re in now.
Ah well. Where's my surfboard. The ocean's still free, right?

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